Awake to the holy

Wednesday in the Third Week of Lent

You are my refuge and shield;
my hope is in your word.
Psalm 119:114

As I feel myself rise toward the surface of consciousness, I try once again to submerge myself in sleep. I know it is too early to be awake. Nevertheless, I lose hold of the threads of the dream in which I was occupied and find as I come to full wakefulness that it is indeed the middle of the night.

There is no help for it, I think. I might as well use the time well. I might as well accomplish something. After all, there is always email to be answered, a report to write, an event to plan. I might as well. But as I get up, I become aware of another option. Perhaps this time if a gift. I do not have to give it over to industry, or distraction, or even disappointment that I am awake when I would much rather be asleep. Beneath the voice that wants me to be industrious, I hear the gentle invitation to contemplation. And I relax.

This is a liminal place, this middle of the night space between waking and sleeping. It has its own beauty and rhythm and purpose. I do not need to fill this time. Rather, I can be filled by it.

I quiet myself. I breath deeply. I open myself to an awareness of the holy. I find myself in a place of refuge and restoration, and I decide to linger.


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