Saturday in the Fifth Week of Lent
Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul?
and why are you so disquieted within me?
Put your trust in God,
for I will yet give thanks to him,
who is the help of my countenance, and my God. Psalm 43:5-6
I begin my morning litany of thanks. Reviewing the day before, I look for the moments of God’s presence and grace and write them into my journal. Yet even as my pen moves over the page, I know that my heart is not in it.
The truth is I do not feel very thankful. Weary would be a better word. My heart is bruised by the trouble of the world. But I practice my ritual of gratitude nonetheless.
Then I remember. Two conversations, one from the morning, one in the afternoon. Two women who faced into anxiety and suffering and heartache, and breathed courage. Who recognized and took to heart hope and opportunity in the midst of distress. Who chose gratitude. And who with extraordinary grace invited me into their stories.
This is why I pray and practice. So that when the challenge comes, I remember to breathe. And respiring, I trust that even bruised and fettered, my heart is in God’s hands and I will yet give thanks.
copyright © Anne E. Kitch 2014