Necessary emptiness

Wednesday in the Fifth Week of Lent

My soul waits for the Lord,

more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.

Psalm 130:5

I add the meeting to an open spot on my calendar without even thinking. Of course the time is free, it was blank. And now. And now the day is both full and lacking. Full of important meetings. Lacking in essential reflection.

Some days are like whirlwinds. And on such days, when it is even more important that I take the time to reflect and pray, it is more likely that I will forget. Or, if I am being honest with myself, that I will think I can persevere without prayer. 

This is the work of the enemy. And as Holy Week approaches, I know the enemy is close at hand, tempting me with business and busyness, urging me to prove just how successful I can be all on my own.

Except the cross is about defeat. Necessary and absolute loss. Complete emptying of self. 

The Lenten way is ancient. My calendar cannot tame it. Now calls for stillness and giving over, for waiting and watching as Love conquers all.