Wednesday in the First Week of Lent
I entreat you will all my heart,
be merciful to me according to your promise.
I test the spot in my heart and find it is still tender. There has been healing here, but there is more to come.
For several weeks now, even before my face was marked with ashes for this journey, I have submitted a room in my heart to self-examination. I directed the light of my current understanding to shine on the past and there found dead wood to be discarded, wrong assumptions to be righted, burdens of past obligations that could have been set down long ago. I did not enter this territory alone, but holding God’s hand dared to engage in repentance: awareness, contrition, sorrow, confession, amendment of life. And as the Holy One lifted burden after burden off of my shoulders, tendrils of new life began to show.
And now, knowing there is more renewal to come, I place my tender self at the feet of my savior, seeking mercy, and praying for that gentle spirit to surround me as I step into an unknown day.