In you, O Lord, have I taken refuge;
let me never be ashamed. Psalm 71:1
“What are the conversations you are afraid to have with God?”
The question will not leave me alone. It was posed by the Bishop to a room full of people who had gathered to contemplate “Getting Through the Day with Grace” during Lent.
I begin most mornings with conversations with God. I have journals full of my conversations with God. Yet there it is. The moment the question is posed, the answers come. Questions I have been afraid to ask. Troubles I have not wanted to disclose. Wonderings I have been too timid to admit. Even in a private journal. Even in prayer.
I know myself limited as a human being. My thoughts cannot encompass God. Some mornings my conversations begin boldly. Some days they are matter-of-fact. Sometimes there is banter, or admiration, or frustration. But then there are the times when I enter into the encounter with the divine shyly, seeking a refuge that I know is there but at the same time can hardly believe is offered to one such as me.
Let me never be ashamed. Let me never be ashamed to have taken refuge. Let me never be ashamed to have taken refuge in God. Because the conversations will keep on coming.
Question, yes. Doubt, certainly. Stumble, inevitably. But may God, my refuge, be my strength, my life, my sanctuary.
copyright © Anne E. Kitch 2013