Monday, March 20, 2017

Restless Learning Curve

Monday in the Third Week of Lent

I think of God, I am restless,
I ponder, and my spirit faints.
Psalm 77:3

After the second failed attempt to get up and get moving, I finally pay attention to what my body is telling me and give in. I am not well and need to go back to bed. I am fortunate, I think, because the tasks of this day can be set aside and rearranged to allow me to rest. Two phone calls, a text message, an email, and my obligations have been covered. But even as I settle my aching body for sleep, my mind thinks of all I can accomplish in the space created by removing items from my calendar. I could get so much work done.

As I wrestle with my need to rest, the irony is not lost on me. I wonder if God is amused or heartbroken.

Late in the afternoon, after plenty of sleep and plenty of water and plenty of self-care, I feel like myself again. I offer a prayer of thanks as my soul is flooded with relief. And as I carefully pick up the pieces of my life and work, I hear the voice of the Holy One reminding me to be gentle with myself. I have so much to learn.

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