Thursday after Ash Wednesday
Refrain from anger, leave rage alone;
do not fret yourself; it leads only to evil.
One after another, the anxious moments of the day recede. I breathe in and find ease where a few hours ago I felt constriction. Fretting can do that. Despite my best intentions to remain confident and positive, it does not take long for worries to build up and seem insurmountable.
The enemy relishes tempting me this way. To whisper in my ear that I am good at fixing, and then lead me along the way with subtle nudges until I have willingly taken entire responsibility for problems that are not mine to solve. I begin to feel small and frightened. I look for someone to blame, somewhere to place the fault.
Regardless of how many times I have stumbled in this way, I do it again. And regardless of how many times I stumble, Jesus takes me by the hand and shows me another way. Every time I turn my face to the one who loves me, I remember that I can make a different choice.
This time, I chose the gym. I chose dinner with my family. I chose to visit my father and run his errands. I chose to give space to the richness of my life rather than the problems which rush to invade and occupy my soul.
Now, gratitude rushes in washing the anxiety away making room for joy.
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