Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Stumbling along

Tuesday in the Fourth Week of Lent

As often as I have said, “My foot has slipped,”
your love, O Lord, upheld me.
Psalm 94:18

I throw up my hands in defeat; the document I need for our taxes simply cannot be found. I looked in all the usual and likely places. And then I looked in the unlikely places. And then I looked again. Lost is a conclusion I am not ready to accept—so even though this is a problem with a solution, it feels like a complete rout. And the last straw in a series of frustrations.

In so many aspects of my life I am sure of my footing. I like to keep it that way. I work hard so that I do not misstep. I plan ahead. I keep track of details. I get creative with problem solving. I take pride in my efforts. And there is the problem.

I know that all I need to say is that I need help. I have experienced the love of God upholding me many times in the past. Yet even now, I fall into the trap of thinking that simply working hard enough will always smooth the way ahead. Or that at least I should not stumble over the same things.

But I know that there are some stumbling blocks that will always be mine. And that I will learn more about myself each time I stumble over them. And that it is not in my power to remove them. And that the love of God will be there each and every time I fall. And that whether I stumble or limp or stride, God has sent people who love me to walk the path with me.