Embarking

Thursday after Ash Wednesday

Commit your way to the Lord and put your trust in him,
and he will bring it to pass.
Psalm 37:5

Once again, I step foot into the Lenten wilderness, and in doing so am aware that I am now committed to this way, which is known and unknown. Not every wilderness is the same. Some are deserts. Some are jungles. All are wild. Some people find in the wilderness a home, some a barren place, some a haven, some a treacherous landscape.

I take my first steps slowly, not so much because I am hesitant about this journey, but because I cannot know what it holds for me this time; I want to pay attention. After the grief and tumult of this past year, I am more attuned to the necessity of this way, more hungry for the strengthening it offers, more aware of how much I depend on the faith that is honed here, and more certain that this endeavor is not about how I will be sustained in this wilderness, but how this wilderness journey will prepare and sustain me for the life that comes next.

I will most likely become lost within this wilderness. I know with certainly I will be lost without it. I pray for the courage to choose engagement. I beseech wisdom of those more weathered by this way. I yearn for the grace to disentangle and leave behind the trappings that do not bring me life.  And I take the next step.

Photo credit: Anne E. Kitch