Trust fall

Thursday after Ash Wednesday

Put your trust in the Lord and do good;
dwell in the land and feed on its riches.
Psalm 37:3

As I let the quietness of the day envelop me, I feel a sense of solace. While I do not have the opportunity to spend this time at a retreat house as I would like, I realize that I can set the day apart, set myself apart. It will be a day of fasting.

I begin by choosing to set food aside for the day and focus my hunger on prayer. As I pay attention, I realize how often I put food in my mouth, reach for a snack or a bit of this or that, without thinking. This day I drink water instead, grateful for its nourishment.

And as the day continues, I appreciate the gift of setting aside other distractions as well. This day will not be given over to fixing things, or doing one more errand, or getting ahead of the game. I focus instead on paying attention to my soul, to doing some deep thinking and needed contemplation. And I discover again the richness found not in accomplishment, but in being. In sitting still with God.

It is a kind of trust exercise, to let myself fall onto the mercy of God. I must get past that moment of hesitation, that subtle voice that tells me I need to earn my keep. Yet when I let go, it is to discover the loving embrace of the One who calls me to dwell in the land of abundance.


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