Determined gentleness

Tuesday in the Second Week of Lent

In God is my safety and my honor;
God is my strong rock and my refuge.
Psalm 62:8

Temptation to step away from my determined course whispers at me several times along the way. I could drive straight home. I could run an errand instead. And then the murmur of fear. This will be hard. You have lost too much ground. You won’t be able to keep up.

I don’t even want to count the days it has been since I have been to the gym. First, I was sick, then I was traveling, and then… well, life happened. Now it has been long enough that the discipline has begun to wear off and even though I know how important it is to treat my body with respect, a desire to give in to cheap self-care asserts itself.

Even when I get to the gym, the voice continues to call me to less. Skip this. Reduce that. Do something small.

I know I need to wrest my attention from this lure of defeat. I remind myself that taking care of my body is a spiritual practice. That while I may have lost some strength, I have not lost my Rock. I have a different voice to which I can attune my soul. The one who offers safety and refuge. The one who gives honor rather than shame and blame. Remembering this, I choose to be both gentle with myself and determined. I pick up the first set of weights. And I decide gentleness and determination might be good practices for daily life.