Lost along the way

Thursday of the First Week of Advent

You, O Lord, are my lamp;
my God, you make my darkness bright.
Psalm 18:29

In the darkness, I drive along back roads wending my way home. This route is full of twists and turns and even though I have traveled it before I take care not to lose my way, my eyes open for deer and other unexpected obstacles as I drive through trees, past streams and farms, over hills, the road ahead visible only a few feet at a time.

As I come to the outskirts of the city, I ease my vigilance. The road is wider, better lit, more familiar. I am on home territory. As my mind reaches toward home and the welcome awaiting me there, I have a sudden feeling of disconnection, displacement. Where am I? All at once I find myself some place I have never been. In the darkness, nothing looks familiar or right. For a second, I am utterly lost. In the next moment, I know myself to still be on the right road, still on my way home, still safe. The distortion, an illusion only, takes my breath away.

I think of my journey with Jesus and how God unfolds the road ahead of me. Sometimes the route is familiar and even in the dark I know my way. Sometimes even what is known becomes alien. And yet, though I may feel lost, I have not been lost by the one who calls me to follow the Way. I am never beyond God’s reach.