Compassion calling

Wednesday of the Second Week of Advent

For in you, O Lord, have I fixed my hope;
you will answer me, O Lord my God.
Psalm 38:15

I walk through the house doing the last things to get me out the door. Dishes in the dishwasher. Gym bag packed. Letters out for the mail carrier. The items I need to take with me begin to pile up by the door as I remember one more thing that I need to do, and then another. I’m going to be late.

And behind all this a familiar litany begins in my head. Why didn’t you take care of this yesterday? How could you have forgotten to write that check? Why can’t you be more organized? At least this morning I can spare myself the “bad mom” section of the recitation because both my girls are away at college and as far as I know I haven’t disappointed them yet today.

The voice of criticism throws a final “when will you learn?” at me as I head out the door. I sigh. Indeed, when will I learn to allow myself to be human and to be OK with not being perfect?

I know I need to be listening to a different voice. I stop in my tracks. I open myself to the voice of compassion to the call of resilience to the song of hope. I hear the holy invitation and change course.


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