Still

Thursday in the Fifth Week of Lent

But I still my soul and make it quiet,

like a child upon its mother’s breast;

my soul is quieted within me.

Psalm 131:3

I look at the date and realize that I have missed a deadline. At some point yesterday I remembered I needed to complete this task and I meant to add it to my list. Or one of my lists. Which at this point are out of control.

My desk is covered with post-its, along with a pile of written notes. I seem to add projects to the organizational app on my computer with greater speed than I complete them. And then there is that other list on my phone. 

I recognize this territory. This place in the wilderness where I fool myself into believing that I can control the impact of what lies ahead, that I can organize my way through the spiritual upheaval of holy transformation.

I have been here before and I know what to do. I stop doing. I quiet myself. I open myself to God’s presence. I linger. I sense a pool of tranquility expanding around me. And I wait.