Welcoming Dust

Revive me, O Lord, for your name’s sake;

for your righteousness’ sake, being me out of trouble.
Psalm 143:11

Again I consciously push the hunger aside. I have been awake for only half an hour, and yet a dozen times I have had to keep myself from breaking my fast. It is not that this fast is so difficult; I am not suffering outrageous hunger. It is more a matter of mindfulness. Like an application running unattended in the background, my mind tells me of course it is time for a banana, or a bowl of oatmeal, or a quick omelet.

Each time I say no to that automatic impulse to eat, I consciously change my path and set my face toward the dust.

I am clearing the way in order to welcome dust. I am preparing myself to be marked. I am making room in my day, in my life, in my soul to carry ashes, to mar the repentant surface with a dark smudge, to seek cleansing by reaching for the dirt because aligning myself with the mess of the earth is the only way out of trouble.

Because as God spoke some dust into being me, so in this dust I am once again revived.



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