Waiting struggle

Monday in the Fifth Week of Lent

Be strong and let your heart take courage,

all you who wait for the Lord.

Psalm 31:24

I keep my eye on the bowl of oatmeal in the microwave as I set my tea to steep. If I am not attentive, the oatmeal will boil over and make a mess. I find I am impatient with my vigil; so many other things I could be doing rather than standing still and focusing on this one thing. 

I remind myself it is only for another minute—literally. And then I am brought up short. Am I in such a rush that I cannot give my attention to a bowl of oatmeal for three minutes altogether? Is waiting such a burden?

I have already been distracted from my prayer time this morning. I engaged in woolgathering, allowed myself to be sidetracked by email, jumped ahead to tasks set for later in the day.

In my Lenten walk too, I am tempted to jump ahead, to relax from discipline, to think I have done enough work in the wilderness. So many other things I could be doing rather than standing still and giving my attention and focus to God. But those other things are not my light and my salvation.

I gather my tea and oatmeal, take a deep breath, and pray for strength and courage.



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