Easter joy!

Monday in Easter Week

Easter joy

is the joy that speaks to the deepest grief

Easter joy comes in the morning after a night of weeping

Easter joy speaks our name

Easter joy changes the very foundations of the universe

and Jesus tells Mary Magdalene to Go!

because Easter joy in meant to be shared

Easter joy belongs to us

because we are beloved of God

because we have already received the promise

of new life and new hope

Easter joy bursts for with every

Alleluia!

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inconceivable

Holy Saturday

My sight has failed me

because of trouble;

God, I have called upon you daily;

I have stretched out my hands to you.

Psalm 88:10

inconceivably

morning dawns

on grief

on the ache

of brokenness

on the certainty

that things will never

be right

again

Treacherous

Good Friday

 

Be not far from me, for trouble is near,

and there is none to help.

Psalm 22:11

 

trouble is at hand

distress and suffering

behind and before 

every step treacherous

every breath grief-laden

 

this day holds

no hope

and all the hope

in the world

Dust: reprise

Maundy Thursday

When my spirit languishes within me,

you know my path;

in the way wherein I walk

they have hidden a trap for me

Psalm 142:3

feet that have walked

through dust and dreaming

of reprieve

of revolution

of redemption

feet tenderly held

washed

with humility

with tears

with hope

feet that will yet walk

through dust and desertion

denial, despair

desolation

and will arrive

inevitably

even at a distance

at the foot

of a cross

Lament

Wednesday in Holy Week

 

In the evening, in the morning, and at noonday,

I will complain and lament,

and God will hear my voice

Psalm 55:18

lament weighs down my soul

sits in my belly

unspent

a serpent

coiled

will it slowly strangle

or suddenly strike out

with pain

and poison

if I let go

it may overwhelm me

when I let go

my cry will join the river

of woe

of sorrow

of centuries

and now

as before

God hears

It takes time

Tuesday in Holy Week

 

The Lord knows our human thoughts;

how like a puff of wind they are.

Psalm 94:11

 

Things take the time they take

always

This Lenten journey has taken its time

so will this week

and this day

 

And all of my life

all of human life

all of creation

rests in God’s time

 

My thoughts-

even as I try to wrap my mind

around this week

this walk-

barely a tendril of a breeze

in the mighty tempest of the Holy

No safe distance

 Monday in Holy Week

Cast me not away from your presence

and take not your holy Spirit from me.

Psalm 51:12

there is no safe distance

Judas, friend and believer, tries to distance himself

through betrayal 

and is still welcome at the table

James and John and others

abandon Jesus 

falling asleep in the garden

and then fleeing

Peter, having fled with the others, returns

trying to stay near Jesus

by keeping a safe distance

but is recognized

and then denies

Pilate, the governor

distances himself

denying responsibility

Mary Magdalene

looks on from a distance 

and is not safe from the witnessing the horror

and carrying the grief

there is no safe distance

there is only Jesus

truly God and truly human

dwelling with us

with all our dreadfulness and all our splendor

and as many times as we betray, 

abandon, deny, renounce

as many times as we fail Jesus

Jesus does not fail us

Not yet

Saturday in the Fifth Week of Lent

My soul is athirst for God, athirst for the living God;

when shall I come to appear before the presence of God?

Psalm 42:2

The weather is warm and rainy, an odd combination that makes the day feel out of place. Which is just about right for this turn in the path. Spring bulbs and budding trees thirstily absorb the moisture, greedily soaking up the needed sustenance as they prepare to burst into bloom. But not yet.

Not yet. I have not yet completed this journey. I have not yet reconciled my grief-heavy heart with the promise of restoration. I have not yet assuaged my thirst for fullness, for redemption, for renewed vibrancy. I am not yet replenished.

Not yet.